Building Resilience: 5 Ways to Overcome Adversity (and Emerge Stronger)

One of my beliefs (right or wrong) is that a period of adversity is inevitable in the life of an individual. It is a universal experience that touches the lives of all, regardless of age, gender, or background.

But I also believe that adversity can be a beautiful thing. When careers are ending and relationships are falling apart – it’s time to see the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. 

Building resilience is not about avoiding difficult situations; rather, it is about learning to navigate them with grace and courage. As such, resilience can only be built in the crucible of adversity. It isn’t something to be shirked, feared, or hated. It is about developing new perspectives and unlocking new ways of being and doing. 

If you’re struggling, the following might help you build resilience and restore self-belief. 

Embrace the Phoenix Within

When adversity knocks you down, it’s up to you how long you stay down. In the depths of despair, it is easy to forget that as humans we are adept at shedding old identities and adopting new ones.

This never stops, regardless of your age or the stage of life you find yourself in. You always have the wherewithal to do this. Remembering this transformative power is the first step to building resilience.

Cultivate a Growth Mindset

In her book “Mindset”, psychologist Carol Dweck introduces the concept of fixed and growth mindsets. Adopting a growth mindset empowers us to tackle challenges, which in turn builds resilience.

When our efforts repeatedly fail, we may mistakenly believe we simply aren’t good enough. But with a growth mindset, we can potentially see every setback as a chance to learn and improve. Or pivot, as the case maybe.

To cultivate this mindset, embrace “the power of yet” – a belief that you may not have figured everything out yet, but that’s ok and that there’s still more to come. Be more process-oriented than goal-oriented.

Practice Self-Compassion

How you view ‘failure’ (of a relationship, a business, or a career move) will determine how you bounce back. 

I’ve long thought of my years from mid-20’s to mid-30’s as a bit of a failure. Actually, those are kind words. The correct sentiment would be: if I could go back in time and erase them, I’d gladly do so!

The setbacks were so acute that my depression worsened. I lost my confidence. (I still don’t think I’ve fully regained it.) My reaction was severe and personal. I was so immersed in my pity party that I drew all the wrong conclusions from my experiences during the time. 

If I had the courage (or the good sense) to look at things as they were, instead of marinating in self-flagellation, I may have noticed that I hadn’t been all wrong. This simple understanding may have prevented a full-fledged slide into depression. Sometimes our interpretation of an experience is a lot worse than the reality of that event. And that greatly hampers our comeback. 

It’s important to extend yourself the grace of being human to not further damage your spirit during a tough period.

It’s important to extend yourself the grace of being human to not further damage your spirit during a tough period.  

www.hereismymind.com

If you cringe at the thought of a misstep in the past, or wilt when reminded of a past experience, you need to practice self-compassion. 

Be a kind mother to yourself, whether you had one or not. When the emotions have somewhat quietened, try to view matters in an objective light. Look at them unflinchingly as you try to figure out what happened. But tinge your narrative and self-talk with a touch of love. 

Develop Efficient Coping Strategies

Stress is our forever partner. We need to find a way to co-exist peacefully. 

Meditating, engaging in regular self-care, and allowing my mind to wander for set periods of time are some of the ways I keep myself sane on a daily basis. A stress management strategy needs to be tailored to your individual stressors and what works to alleviate them.

From meditating to connecting with friends to pursuing hobbies and interests, there are a number of ways to incorporate stress reduction strategies into our lives. The important thing to keep in mind is that whatever you do for this purpose needs to enhance your overall well-being rather than only accomplish the short-term goal of making you feel better.

Be Grateful For Love and Life

Yes, merely being alive is a gift and something to be cherished. Please don’t lose sight of this simple fact. 

You’re lucky if you have a decent source of income. You’re blessed if you have two or three people who genuinely love you. Additionally, if you’re generally healthy, you don’t have much to complain about. 

Everything else is a bonus. You don’t need a bonus, you just want it. It’s okay to have those wants, but keep the mind centred on the fact that you already have much to be grateful for. 

Gratitude reminds us of what’s most important. It changes the way we show up in the world. It fills our hearts with joy, nurtures resilience and provides the strength to endure difficult times.

Takeaway

(For the TL;DR crowd)

Adversity is an inevitable part of life, and though it may seem daunting, it holds the potential for profound growth and transformation. Building resilience, therefore, comes down to:

• Embracing your transformative power – You always have the ability to shed old identities and create new ones. Adversity teaches you what isn’t working, use that knowledge to fashion a new way of being.
• Cultivating a growth mindset – Failure or setbacks are inevitable. Use the feedback to learn how you can improve.
• Practising self-compassion – When things don’t go to plan, you can either objectively learn how to be better or you can flog yourself to the point you break your own spirit. I suggest practising self-compassion because I believe it is critical to building resilience.
• Developing efficient coping strategies – Because stress is inevitable; valuable strategies to manage it will help you build resilience.
• Cultivating gratitude – Because just the fact that you’re alive, well, and loved is worthy of celebration.