Feeling Overwhelmed? Do This.

I wrote this article when I was feeling super overwhelmed and on the verge of a breakdown/outburst, so this has come from the heart. (I also edited and posted it when I was as calm as I’m capable of being so this is also coming from the head.)

This is exactly what I did to calm myself down, and bring the day back on track, without causing too much heartache to myself. 

Because, well, I’m the one who suffers the most when I let these feelings have a free run, and I have had several years of unhelpful responses to such situations, to the extent that now I’m completely done with knee-jerk reactions. This is how I find my way out of overwhelm, and I hope it will help you, too. 

Take a deep breath and calm down

Overwhelm occurs as a result of the mind dealing with a number of different things at the same time. That leads to a logjam which can aggravate the frustration. So, take a break, and by that I mean a complete break. Make a cup of tea and drink it mindfully. Do nothing else for 15-20 minutes. Do any mundane task that doesn’t require thinking but do it mindfully. 

If you do not have the luxury of taking that long a break, breathe in and out for a few minutes, and follow the next step.

Zero in on the most important bit 

Yes, your hands are full (hence the overwhelm). But out of all the equally important things that need to be addressed, there’s likely something that takes precedence over the rest, even if only by a little bit. It could be something as simple as cooking lunch for your toddler, taking a shower, or writing an email. Focus on that little detail and let everything else go. Start from that tiny little thing and take it from there. 

If it’s impossible to focus on anything in that moment, then let that go as well. Instead do whatever is clamouring for your attention the most – be it a demanding child, or a pile of laundry that’s grown so much it’s now an eyesore. The important thing is to take pressure off of yourself and just be. 

Don’t dredge up the past

In situations of overwhelm, it’s not just the present circumstances that affect our ability to think straight.  Unprocessed feelings from the past also enter the mix. As a result, emotions run high and thoughts become a jumble. Viewed from this lens, the world can seem an awful place and down the spiral we go.

In that moment, ditch the past. I couldn’t be more serious. Keep bringing your focus back to the present moment, to the immediate problem, or the immediate step you can take. Act like the past doesn’t exist.

Act like the past doesn’t exist.

Keep reminding yourself that stress is not a helpful response

Each time you get stressed or worked up, you are not treating your body the right way and potentially creating future health problems. Not to mention, you are not living life in the present either. There could also be resentment forming within you towards people or circumstances that you blame for the stress. None of which is helpful; actually, quite detrimental to health and happiness. As easy as it is to get stressed, it’s equally important to recognise it creeping up and to stop. 

Remember, stress is a response and one that harms you the most. It may seem inevitable but it doesn’t have to be. My Fitbit really helps me in this regard. When I’m having a heightened reaction, I make it a point to check my Fitbit. And sure enough the heart rate is alleviated. So I make a conscious effort to bring it back to normal. You’d be surprised at the range of emotions that can cause the heart to start beating a lot faster.

If there’s anything you take away from this article, let it be this – stop when you start feeling stressed, no matter the situation. There’s always a better way to deal with what’s going on (or not going on). 

Don’t think about life’s larger questions

This is not the time for philosophising, nor is it for catastrophising. Your immediate priority is to get yourself out of the funk and into a clearer, calmer space. Chasing thoughts or letting more of them come in will only add fuel to the fire. 

Don’t try to cheer yourself up

It’s not helpful in the least to go from one extreme to the other. Stop trying to fix anything, including yourself, in this moment. The solutions will follow. For now, the most important thing to do is to create a calm space so that your heartbeat is back to normal.

Excuse yourself from company if needed

Everybody is different. Instead of having outbursts or saying something you may regret later on, it’s better to excuse yourself for some time, until you are beginning to feel yourself again. Others might not understand your sudden need to be alone, but you need to do what you need to do for yourself. 

As an HSP, I used to frequently find myself shut down in overwhelming situations. I’d abruptly, without explaining myself, and just walk out of a room full of relatives (to give an example), and that would not lead to good outcomes. Typically this would happen only with those that I did not feel safe expressing my emotions around. 

No one has ever understood the need for some of us to be alone in situations of high stress or overwhelm, or simply the need to be alone on a regular basis for our basic sanity. 

Now I just say, “I need to be alone for a while, please. I’ll be back soon.” That’s the best I can do. 

Alternatively, speak to someone you trust

Sometimes sharing our problems or simply stating that we are feeling rather sad and lost can help us feel lighter. If you’re lucky enough to have friends and family that you can open up to – whom you are confident will listen to you without judgment, and if they are available at the time, do share what’s on your mind. You’ll feel a lot better. Rejuvenated, even. Others can give us a perspective that we might be lacking in the moment. 

It’s okay to have a meltdown

If nothing works and you are not able to negotiate your way around a maddening day, then it’s ok to break down and let the tears flow. You will feel much better afterwards. You will, however, need to return to step 2 and follow all the subsequent steps because one does need to keep moving forward and in the best possible way.

How are some ways in which you deal with overwhelm? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.